Borderline Personality Monster

It's been a while dear reader. How fickle the blogging mind when things are going along relatively swimmingly. There is still a natural instinct when confronted with something that won't go away to believe that it has. Like a grey hair you can put hair dye on it, but it will return with a vengeance. This is true of the troubled sea of mental health. The vast ocean of the brain and the tiny raft that travels through it. Occasional hitting a lovely tropical island with warm beaches and coconuts,

Other times getting caught in a heavy storm. I'm getting tangled in metaphors but what I am saying is...ups and downs they happen. I was on the raft a few weeks ago hovering near a crystal blue shore when a monster emerged from the coastline and came to sit on the raft completely immune to reason and refusing to leave. He said I've been here all along. You've just been so consumed with my abrasive brothers that you didn't notice me insidiously creeping aboard. I am BPD. 

Borderline. Personality. Disorder.Sounds scary right. A disorder with your personality. The first thing Google will tell you is that it can't be medicated. No amount of tic tacs are going to solve this one. Just another long course of psychotherapy you are not convinced is actually a thing. 

The next thing you will notice is some of the 'buzzwords' - overwhelming emotions, hopelessness, worthlessness, manipulative, unstable relationships, shame, loneliness, emptiness, dependant on others.

And the lightbulb goes off and you think yes I am acknowledging you. He is dangling you over the edge now and asking will you sink or will you swim. I told him for now I would swallow water while it all sunk in but I would not be drowned. 

Different Families, Same Love

Every year I watch Celebrity Big Brother and every year I get annoyed by some random stupid comments. But saying that same sex couples adopting is child abuse is a new low. Child abuse is neglecting your child. Child abuse is physically, mentally or sexually abusing your child. Child abuse is thousands of children being abandoned, orphaned or left homeless. A child being cared for and loved by someone regardless of biology, genetics or sexual bloody orientation is parenting. It is not a title reserved for any man and woman who can get drunk and produce one. What about single parents, couples who cannot reproduce, children who lose a parent. Is the love they feel for those they may not be related to by blood any less. Parenting is a conscious choice to give a damn about a little human being. To tell me that when I build my family; the hours, the tears, the love, the bed times stories, the first school play the first time my child says Mam will mean any less because of that is ridiculous. No one has the right to tell you that 👩👩👦